BALDLY GO

When you’re feeling down and you’re feeling bored

and your food tastes of cardboard

Try different wigs on different days

confused you in your chemo haze

Is it Tueday or a Friday ?

Every day like an endless sunday

General malaise and start to glaze

and you look just ike a deflated souffle (raseberry sound)

CHORUS

We baldy go

where no others have gone before

we chuck our hair products out of the bloody door

no time wasting shaving our legs

instead we just chill out and take expensive meds

Coz we’re worth it

We’re worth it

One wig from the NHS

Coiffured so you don’t look a mess

A wig brings out a new personalty

A punk’s hair-do with a Goth’s mentality

So change change your look

On every other day

Can amuse yourself

and keep unwanted folk away  (stay away  keep away)

Tattoo your head with  marker pens

become an anarchist at weekends

Makes people stare, for a woman it’s  rare

Folk expect you to flippin swear -

flip

Be bald if you dare

or a wig you can give you new flare

My chemo therapy has      ( i’m chemically unbalanced)

completely nuked my hair

and now a single pube

is  ever so bleedin rare. i’m a lonely pube

I think I had one yesterday and it’s gone

gone ,gone.

You’re like someone from star trek

but without  a huge paycheck

You can sofa surf  without any brakes

if you’re feeling low eat a super space cake

CHORUS

we baldy go

where no-ones gone before

we chuck our hair products out of the bloody door

no time wasting shaving our legs

instead we just chill out and take expensive meds

Coz we’re worth it

We’re worth it

You’re worth it

I’m worth it

She’s worth it

He’s worth it

CHEMO THUG SONG

I’m an the impatient patient-

waiting to be seen

I’m waiting for my drugs

to treat bad cells  mean

It’s tense in here

You can smell the fear

Will they or won’t they come

up with our gear.

I’m going in now

to make a drug deal

Hope it’s good shit

cause I really need to heal

CHORUS

The drugs are good

The users keen

The pharmacists our dealer

on the NHS scene

The other pill heads

are after my drugs

I need to hide my meds

to stop these chemo thugs

I’m a pill popping patient

I’m dozing in my bed

I’ve finally earnt the title of

The hard core chemo head

I’m dangerous, I’m a chemo thug

The pharmacist – I’d love to mug

I want every  pill, He can offer

I ‘ve become- a total NHS drug scoffer

The pharmacist was the one who’s dealing

What he said to me was quite revealing

I’m qualified I’m your NHS  healer

I’m the real deal I’m your drug drug dealer

CHORUS

The drugs are good

The users keen

The pharmacists our dealer

on the NHS scene

I’m in the dreaded department of oncology

They’re taking a look at my mutant pathology

The scientist have some excellent technology

they want to nuke my errant biology

It’s a matter of faith and it tests my personal theology

and it’s massively unnerving my current psychology

I’m not trying to be a hero

I’m just trying to get through my chemo

I feel like I’m floating on the ceiling

I’m on drugs

I’m on drugs

FECK CANCER

So say feck cancer

The  steroids and  bad mood

and your living on a  short fuse

feeling  a little unscrewed

and your wond’rin a bout the virtues of vodoo

Waiting in dull waiting rooms

terrorized by all of  the posters of doom

warnings of other ills we

might get

it’s enough to give you a cardiac arrest

CHORUS

Is Cancer  sexy

the new herion chic?

You can’t join our  group

cause we’re the cancer elite

Is Cancer is sexy

The new herion chic ?

you can’t join our group

we’re the cancer elite

Say once and for all feck cance

Cause that is the answer

Be a pill popping cancer gangster

A bonifide NHS pill gangster

So feck cancer

and dont let it ruin your day

whilst your waiting for another X-ray

Learn how to write feck cancer in crochet

You spend your time retching

like a cat with fur balls

but you can force your friends

to run charity cake stalls

CHORUS

Is Cancer  sexy

the new herion chic?

You can’t join our group

we’re the cancer elite

MEDITATION OR MEDICATION

They say it’s internalized anger

That’s causes my internalized cancer

And if I want the cancer to go away

I should practice forgiveness everyday

So what got me in huff

Fifteen years ago the milkman pissed me off

The hairdresser cut my fringe too short

I want to take him to the European court

Was it him that took me to the cancer resort

CHORUS

Shall I Medicate or meditate?

Shall I Medicate or meditate?

Feel it

Feel it

For hundreds of years

we got into gear

Meeting up in Cafes for a tea and a rest

and getting Negative Thinking off our chest

What’s wrong with a good moan

When all’s said and done

Moaning with tea and an iced bun

It’s better than committing a bit of arson

Feel it

Feel it

Shall I Medicate or meditate?

Shall I Medicate or meditate?

My cancer might melt like a giant sorbet

Melting away like a giant sorbet

Melting

Melting melting

Yeah well that makes me angry

Turns me into a screaming Banshee

That makes me angry

Turns me into a screaming Banshee

Feel it

Cancer banshee

Cancer banshee

Feel it

I Medicate

I Medicate

I Medicate

Yes I’ll Medicate

Feel it

Feel it

Can’t you

Feel it

Feel it

waaaaaa

I Medicate

Yes I’ll Medicate

Yes I’ll Medicate

FOODIE FIGHT

Ohh

Let’s cure this cancer with some food now

Oh no I’m not allowed that

No, no, no, no

Not even if I have a blueberry on the top

I suppose it’s herbal tea again

Give me a sandwich with chocolate spread

No, no I’m not allowed that

War on cancer

Fighting is the key

but Can you hinder the advance

With a cup of herbal tea?

But what causes cancer

and what should I eat

No dairy

No sugar

and no bloody wheat

My fear of rice pudding

has begun to grow

By taking a big mouthful

does my tumor grow

mmmmmm

Just give me some ice-cream

Please

CHORUS

Cancer busting blueberries

or hydrogenated fat

Take a bigger risk

and eat some hospital crap

hospital crap

hospital crap

hospital crap

mmmm

Cancer busting blueberries

or hydrogenated fat

Or Take a  bigger risk

and eat some hospital crap

hospital crap

hospital crap

hospital crap

Peppermint, chamomile. Yes please, yes please

Peppermint, chamomile, Red bush, Roobush

No normality

No normality

for me

I will have a cup of builders

No no no

War on cancer

Fighting is the key

but Can you hinder the advance

With a cup of herbal tea?

But what causes cancer

and what should I eat

No dairy

No sugar

and no bloody wheat

War on cancer

Fighting is the key

but Can you hinder the advance

With a cup of herbal tea?

But what causes cancer

and what should I eat

No dairy

No sugar

and no bloody wheat